Fear or: The Waiting Room

Wherever I read about receiving heart surgery, the people who have gone through it always say the same thing; the hardest part is waiting, and life is better on the other side. Trusting these individuals can make things easier, however this is a hard thing to do. I’ve never met anyone in my situation outside of the Internet. They are correct though. The time leading up to surgery, nicknamed ‘The Waiting Room’, is a scary place. But what am I afraid of? The data is on my side. Science, technology, and the experience of my doctors and surgeons are behind me. So what is the fear? The fear is of the unknown. I am nervous about the pain of course, about being weak, and all that. But I am afraid most of what I don’t know. It is hard to feel out of control. I must place my life and my trust into the hands (LITERALLY) of another human being. He will be a pilot, and I will be a sleeping passenger…
HOOOKAY, that was dramatic. Glad I got that out of my system!
Good news to report: I’ve been cycling with my heart rate monitor on, and it is quite easy for me to ride as much as I want while keeping my BPM well under 140. I rode 25 miles the other day while averaging 122 BPM. I peaked at 140 exactly and was able to slow down and bring it immediately down while going up a big hill. When I get the hang of my workout app Digifit, I will post results.

P.S. since I created this blog, I have received many messages of support and love from my family, friends, and strangers. Thank you all so much. People like this matter:

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Cheers!
Anthony

7 thoughts on “Fear or: The Waiting Room

  1. Mike

    Isn’t everything the unknown? I think we trick ourselves into thinking only certain things are. Im not much into blogs but I will follow this one. Maybe you can make it into a book?

    Reply
  2. Sarah

    Tone! I had no idea. When Tom broke his neck and was getting his two spinal reconstructive surgeries, I thought I was going to lose my mind (more than I already have) waiting. It was so hard to believe that he would be ok, but you know what? He was! The doctors were super heros and literally put him back together and I know that they will fix you too!

    Much love!
    Berman

    Reply
  3. Mark Friis

    Curious, have you seen any side effects from the anxiety? Diet, weight loss, irritability, sleeping, hair loss….I am always curious how each individual handles such stress. On a more personal side, thanks for sharing and good luck. Same goes for your family. I don’t have any idea what it is to be in your shoes but as a loved one, hate it. You feel useless at times because you never know the right things to say. Peace

    Reply
    1. Anthony DiLemme Post author

      Side effects: definitely hair loss. Yes, that’s it (ha!). But seriously, I think I’m doing everything I can to prevent serious psychological side effects such as depression. That’s the whole point of this blog. I feel that if I can put my heart, goals, and intentions out there for the world to see, I will hold myself accountable with the support of this community. Thanks Mark!

      Reply
  4. Anita Connelly

    The fact that you are in otherwise tip top condition will go a long way to making your surgery a success and your recovery easier. Stay positive!
    Anita

    Reply

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