“You’re heart is abnormally big,” Dr. Yun said, “and it leaks allot.”
“Mmhm,” I say, waiting for the punchline.
Dr. Yun paused for five seconds, perhaps to highlight the importance of his next statement, “Ultimately, You’re heart is going to fail.”
“When it’s going to happen, we do not know.”
Until this moment, in my everyday life, my attitude toward this whole ordeal was that of desperate denial. Finally, upon meeting with my new surgeon was it clear to my thick skull that I would require open heart surgery on my 30th year. Even toward the end of the 45 minute long meeting, I still tried to buy myself some more time.
“Umm, I guess I’m still confused about what to do,” I lied.
The surgeon said, “Why are you still confused? You wanted options and I gave you options.”
We chuckled and I knew what he meant, but what I wanted was a direct command from him. I asked him if he were in my shoes, when would he opt for surgery.
“Soon,” He said, plain and simple.
So there it was. He explained that because I was leaning toward a mechanical valve, there was no reason to wait for the operation. Mechanical valves last your whole life, so re-operation at any point would be a minimal risk. This is why I chose a mechanical valve, because I did not like the idea of getting a re-operation on a tissue valve in 9-13 years.
We look up to doctors as authorities on the human body, however they do not control your body. You are the master of your own domain, and you must make these difficult decisions yourself. I knew what I had to do. I scheduled my operation.