Monthly Archives: July 2015

All I Could Think of was You

Free thought musings…

When our lives are threatened, we often think about our loved ones before we think of ourselves. How fleeting is life, but also, love can be fleeting too.

all i could think ofWhen my mortality was in question, and I went into emergency open heart surgery aortic valve replacement redo, I felt myself desperately clinging emotionally to my partner.

My future was unknown. I might not wake up after the procedure. I might be gone in six months. I don’t know what will happen.

When the heart is sick, love becomes more important. Desperately vital.

The word I keep thinking of is desperate.

Recovery comes and goes. There is an urgency to life. There is an urgency to everything. The mind is clouded with this urgent feeling. I must accomplish something before I die.

I must leave the world better than I found it, but do I have the time?

We must relax, do not fear death, do not rush through life, do not be hasty, let love come and let love go.

Hopefully we are always improving ourselves, however your heart surgery does not define who you are.

Coming Soon: AHA Heart Valve Ambassadors!


The American Heart Association (AHA) contacted me months ago about a new patient advocate program that they are calling The AHA Heart Valve Ambassador program, and they invited me to become an ambassador!

This blog has brought me so many unexpected things: opportunities like this new AHA program, new knowledge, confidence in my recovered self, and most importantly, MANY new fellow heart valve patient friends.

Before making this blog, I had no idea that it would be useful to that many people. I still receive emails each week from people who need valve surgery, and are scared. It brings many emotions when they tell me that my blog has brought them strength. That is exactly what the new AHA Heart Valve Ambassador Program will bring, to more people. The ambassadors will reach out to new patients to coach and advise, both in person and through the internet.

More to come on this! Next week, I will be traveling to Dallas, TX to attend the Valve ambassador summit, where we will learn exactly what our roles will be as ambassadors. I am mostly excited to meet the other heart valve ambassadors!

In the meantime, check out the American Heart Asoociation’s heart valve webpage:

And if you heave congenital or acquired heart disease, become part of the AHA’s support network:

Stay tuned valvers!