3 Year Valve Anniversary

It has been 1,095 days since my last Aortic Valve Replacement Open Heart Surgery. There have been some scary points since them, like when I discovered that a little blood clot was hanging on my mechanical valve. Or that time when a fellow mechanical valve cyclist friend died from a stroke, also due to clotting issues. Then there’s the recent news of the actor Bill Paxton dying from a stroke soon after his heart surgery. He had the same condition as me (Bicuspid Aortic Valve), and the same or similar surgery. Then there’s the letter I received from my hospital notifying me that a faulty machine was used during my surgeries that could cause a deadly infection up to four years after surgery.

Life is going to always be like this. There will be close calls. There will be risk. There will be scary times. There will always be the possibility of complication.

I recently begun to see a therapist. She’s been helping me identify my anxieties and we have been discovering strategies that have proven useful to me. I was already doing some very helpful things to ease & work through my anxiety: Blogging (journaling), yoga, exercise. I have now begun working a regular meditation practice into my life, which has proven to be phenomenal in my general well being. Check out this video (also embedded below); it is a simple guided meditation video that I have used. Think of it as training wheels for meditation. Sometimes I use guided meditation videos, and sometimes I meditate in silence, or with soothing music. I’m still a beginner in this practice, but this mindful meditation has done worlds to help my anxiety. I also seem to be happier in general, and more pleasant to be around (in my opinion).

I think I have learned a thing or two over the past few years. I am a better, happier person despite the anxieties associated with living with a chronic health condition. I’m no guru, but here ya go anyway.

Here are some lessons that I have learned:

  1. Life is short, but (often) only when one realizes this fact do they do something about it. Take chances. Don’t let life happen to you. We are not in control of so many things, so for the things we are in control over; take action! Go for it! Apply for that job across the country if it is calling you! Ask your crush out on a date even if they seem out of your league! Open up to your friends and family. Don’t waste time. If you want something, go get it now. Act now.
  2. Be true to yourself. Be honest with who you are. Don’t let societal norms control your life. This comes into play with so many aspects of our individuality. We tend to hide our true selves from the world due to fear of judgement.
  3. Live in the moment. Practice mindfulness. This is where yoga and meditation come in to play for me. Depression occurs when we focus too much on the past. Anxiety is when we focus too much on the future. Now is the only time that exists. All that there ever is, is now. Look around. Put your phone away for a bit. Make a friend. Enjoy the day.
  4. Relax. You don’t have to make yourself better. You don’t have to go for that promotion. You don’t have to find the meaning of life. If you are kind, mindful, and follow your passions & heart, you will find great joy in life.

This car had valve troubles too. 



9 thoughts on “3 Year Valve Anniversary

  1. Colleen

    Hi Anthony. Congrats on 3 years. Looking forward to when I can say the same. At just past one year I still get quite worried from time to time. Loved this entry. I recently started meditating as well. Needed to quiet down my brain as it tends to be “busy”. I bought something called a Muse headband. It gives you feedback as to where your brain is at as you meditate. It is pretty cool. Loved the point you made above -especially #4. Really took that one to heart (pardon the pun).
    Colleen (Heartvalvefix on IG)

    1. Anthony DiLemme Post author

      Thanks so much! The hardest part about meditation for me is not allowing the pounding/clicking to bother me. But working through that, I have accepted that sensation better.

  2. Rob

    Anthony – Congratulations on three years! I hope your body has accepted this new valve after three years and there will be no more problems. Thanks for the wisdom.

    June 1 will be one year for me, and fortunately no problems.

  3. samanthagibson03

    Congratulations on three years. I too have taken to the blogging community since finding out my newborn son was born with a BAV, and since then learning my husband has one too! It’s phenomenal to see the sheer numbers of people living happy healthy lives!

    1. Anthony DiLemme Post author

      All is well! I’m super busy. I moved to San Francisco and started a new job! I havent really had time for posting. Also, no new news (heart related) is good news! Thanks for asking! -Anthony

  4. Samantha

    Hi there,

    I just found your blog and am pretty inspired. I was diagnosed with BAV when I was about 2 years old and am now 27 with no surgery yet, thankfully. However, the fear of what the future might hold is pretty terrifying, especially when it comes to having babies. Trying to control my anxiety about it is not easy, especially when I haven’t really found anyone close to my age with BAV who can relate. When I came across your blog, I thought it was really cool! (Corny, I know). Thanks for being such an inspiration with the way you choose to live your life for those of us who are younger and live with BAV (anyone else out there…?). All we can really do is live our best lives (I did apply for that job in ANOTHER country and am currently on my 2nd year teaching English in South Korea!) and wait to see what the future may hold. Now truly is the only time that exists!

    Samantha Sanabria


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